The downsides of nesting for child custody

Nesting is a custody arrangement in which children stay in the family home while the parents take turns living there with them. This method is becoming an increasingly popular alternative to traditional custody arrangements in New York as it aims to provide a stable and consistent environment for children during and after a divorce. While nesting can have its benefits, it is important to consider the downsides before choosing this arrangement.

Financial cost

One of the most significant downsides of nesting is the financial cost. Maintaining multiple households can be expensive, and it may not be financially sustainable for both parents in the long term.

While the parents may be able to split the cost of maintaining the family home, they will also need to cover the cost of renting or owning their own separate homes. This can be especially challenging if one or both parents have a limited income or significant debt.

Lack of privacy

Another potential downside of nesting is the lack of privacy. When the parents are living in the family home, they will need to coordinate their schedules and respect each other’s personal spaces. There should be a strict no-snooping policy.

This can be challenging, particularly if the relationship between the parents is contentious or there are unresolved conflicts. It may be difficult for parents to adjust to sharing the same space, particularly if they have different living habits.

Emotional challenges

While nesting aims to provide children with stability, it can also be confusing for them. They may have trouble understanding why their parents are no longer together, but neither one is moving out.


Nesting can be an impractical child custody plan for some families. Depending on the parents’ work schedules and living arrangements, it may not be feasible to maintain the nesting arrangement in the long term. For example, if one parent needs to move to another city or state, it may not be possible for them to continue spending time in the family home.

Nesting can be a good way to ease children into the idea of their parents separating; however, it’s best used as a short-term solution until a more permanent separation is feasible.